My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry by Fredrik Backman

March 2019 - Thirteen members gathered to talk about My Grandmother Asked Me To Tell You She's Sorry by Fredrik Backman.   Some of us in book club have read a Man Called Ove, so we had a little history in reading one of his novels.  Many of us stated that it was very hard at first, we weren't sure we could get through the book.  But, by a third of the way in, I believe, most of us were ready to continue on that adventure and excited to see what happens next.

One member said, "Granny was quite the character and I enjoyed the other characters the author created through out the book.  I enjoyed learning about the characters through the scavenger hunt that Granny had Elsa go through.  They were great lessons."  We talked quite a bit about Granny.  In the novel it shares that Granny failed as a mother but thrived as Grandma! And she really did, we agreed.   One member said it made her cry, "I never had a Grandma like that.  Hard to experience because I never had a Grandma like that."  So we talked about our Grandma's in relation to how Elsa's Granny was.  Someone asked, what stories have you told your kids?  Are you a story teller like Granny?  One member said she has told her grandkids stories when she goes to visit them, weaves the story with their location and adds bits and pieces.  Granny had told Elsa these stories but she also told her mother the stories when she was little, she told the policewoman with the green eyes too.

Granny and her daughter Ulrika were so different, such opposites.  Granny was a doctor and had a larger mission we talked about, she saved many lives and continued to save many lives, those around her.  Granny was a free spirit, her daughter, very orderly.  Granny was the one you brought to war.  Granny was a heroine to so many in the book.  The residents, the policewoman in the green eyes and the others at the funeral.  Granny won the apartment building in a poker game and we laughed about Granny being a "playboy" and Elsa asking Alf if they were ever an item!!!

She wanted Elsa to know that all the people you meet will keep you safe, just like Granny had done for her.  "Every 7 year old deserves a hero," one member said.  "We need a hero, someone who asks us to transform, to challenge us, to come in and out of our lives, a gift from God.  It will be nice tell someone you are a hero."  Someone said the new TV series, "The Village" reminds her of this, they are all interconnected in some way in that apartment, all a part of each other's lives.  The people in Granny's building were there to help you, to love you, to protect you when you are in sadness, pain, fear and loss.  They were your support system.

Granny had this planned out for Elsa to follow.  She had even planted the stroller in the front of the apartment, but we figured Britt-Marie made the puzzle for Elsa to figure it out.  We enjoyed learning more about the kingdoms and the explanation as the letter deliveries went on.  It made sense to us then, it all came together, many were intertwined.  These were the kingdoms we found page 228 -- the kingdoms in the Land-of-Almost-Awake:

Miamas -- I love
Miploris -- I mourn
Mirevas -- I dream
Miaudacas - I dare
Mimovas - I dance
Mibatalos - I fight

We struggled with all the fantasy kingdoms, but we agreed we liked the explanation of the kingdoms and agreed this must have been in Wolfhearts native language, perhaps Croatian or Bosnian, since he was part of a conflict in that area we felt.  Was this the secret language they used?  We found that Granny started telling the stories to Elsa when her parents went through a divorce, the first kingdom was about love.

We talked about Britt-Marie and found there is a follow-up novel, that a few had read, saying they would highly recommend it. "That woman needed change" someone said, and that her quirky character fit the book.  We found out that Britt-Marie helped to "raise" Ulrika  -- we noted how she always said her name when she talked to her. There was that connection, but we didn't know why that was until at the end.  We understood why Ulrika is organized, because Britt-Marie was organized.  She was a rule follower and rule maker, and she probably had influence on Ulrika with this.  She took control of what she could take control of.  Like when her husband (we found out later) was having an affair, she had him come home right away and put his shirt in the laundry.  She didn't want to smell that woman's perfume.  But we had no idea why it was her rule to put that shirt in the laundry right away, not until the end.  Elsa asked Britt-Marie why do you move the razor around -- I like to hear him say my name, she replied.  We understood at the end.

We talked about Ulkea and how she wanted to be there for Elsa, she wanted to show Elsa she trusted her, gave her independence though too.  We felt she could have smothered her, with what she went through with her mother, but she didn't.

The other characters in the story were so interesting.  Who was feeding the wurse?  Granny went in hospital so she sent Elsa home to give it chocolate!  We figured out that dog had it's own apartment!   Someone asked what kind of dog did you imagine him to be?  Some said Rottweiler, lab, part hound, and someone said New Foundland dog, full of lots of hair!  Wolfheart was an interesting character.  We were glad he came back New Years Day and was not charged with a crime in saving them from Sam.  Alf & Kent, we find out later were brothers, who were both fighting for the princess, Britt-Marie, but Ken won and it should have been Alf!  Len & Maud were characters that were the parents of Sam, who Granny had met and actually was saved by Wolfheart in the war.  Len & Maud's son, their grandson, helped the Lady in Black Skirt, who had a happy ending in the book, we liked that.  We felt Elsa really helped her.  Marcel - funny, was an accountant, a doctor, a lawyer, a priest!

Harry Potter was one of Elsa's favorite books.  It helped piece together the timeline as we read that Granny used some of that in her stories.  Interestingly at the end, Elsa's Dad had Harry Potter on the radio, that he was listening to the story.  We talked about some of the stories that we read when we were growing up, "the Happy Holisters," "Encyclopedia Brown" "Little House on the Priairie." "Lord of the Rings."

Elsa had some trouble in school, but through stories, through Granny's stories, she survived.  At the end Granny says to her:  "Promise you won't hate me when you find out who I've been.  And promise me you'll protect the castle.  Protect your friends."  We liked how the story wove through those int he building and they were all to protect each other. A few had commented that we thought this would be a great movie, and it would be interesting, now to go back and read it again, as we understood a little better what this all meant!

***I found this link, that explained the characters of the book.  I wish I would have had it before I started reading. If you are interested, click here to see the list!

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng

February 2019 - Most of us realized after reading this book that we would have a great discussion of all the different aspects and we did!  There were ten of us for discussion.  It was a very well-liked book!

One member said off the bat, that she loved this book as it was different, it was a book that was more modern, in today's world.  She said every neighbor has a neighbor who shakes it up and she (Mia) would be an asset to the community.  Someone said "Thought the book did a good job of making the adults and the teenagers real. With the kids, you could feel like you were that age again."   Another said "the book starts with the house on fire, interesting start!"  We said many questions were raised, birth parents, adoption, relationships with mothers.

We talked about the relationship between Izzy and Elena (Mrs. Richardson).  Someone shared they felt that anger is the bodyguard of fear.  That since Izzy's birth, there has been this fear, which manifests itself in anger in Mrs. Richardson.  There were things that Izzy did that were very much like her mother.  "The things we dislike most in others are the characteristics we like least in ourselves." - Marian Keyes (Rachel's Holiday).  We talked of our own relationship with our mothers and that perhaps, in the book, Izzy was a "spirited child."

Mia and Pearl had a very close relationship.  Pearl being an only child, liked the activity at the Richardson's home, especially after moving around forever and never having a connection to others.  The focus wasn't just on Pearl, as she had with Mia, as an only child. We wondered, if Pearl was not happy when her mother took the job at the Richardson's, having her mother there often, in the space she so enjoyed.  She had freedom at the Richardsons, and now that changed with her mom there, watching.  Someone said they, Mia & Pearl, lived in 46 different cities.  She finished projects and moved and yet she recognized Pearl's need to stay in one place.  When the time came for them to leave again, we wondered why Pearl didn't tell her mother she was going to stay.  She could have chosen to not go with her mom.

What constitutes a mother, bringing up the adoption issue.  There was discussion, that some parents that are adoptive parents can make it work, others can't.  Linda McCullough would have made it work, we felt.   BeBe realized that, after a short time, she wanted May Ling/Mirabelle back.  She loved that baby so much, but she was in need of so much help, and she did tell the police she wanted her baby back, but was not heard.  She didn't know where to get help.  We talked about what qualifies a parent to parent, what constitutes a mother?  We also talked about Mia leaving with Pearl, not telling the Ryan's that she had the baby.

We brought up the court case of Baby Jessica, click here for more info, as this was a real life instance similar to this situation.  With this case, the mother realized in 5 days she wanted her baby back.  Someone said they wished that they could have split the custody, but this wasn't an open adoption.  Very hard for both mothers.

When the fire happened, and Izzy left, we talked about the change in Mrs. Richardson, especially towards Izzy.  The others didn't really care where Izzy was, but Mrs. Richardson did. She would find her. She was a detective reporter, she knew where to get help, look at all she did to find out Mia's past.  We thought the artwork of Mia, that was left behind for Mrs. Richardson was very good analogy of her life, was she the bird in the cage?  Or was that Izzy?  We felt that there was a change now in Mrs. Richardson because of what they just went through.  We saw that change, a mothering change in Mrs. Richardson.

We talked about some of the connection to the title of the book -- Little Fires Everywhere.

When BeBe is crying at Mia's house and Izzy stops over, Izzy asks "But is she going to be okay?"  Mia answers "I don't know, honestly. But she will. Sometimes, just when you think everything is gone, you find a way." Mia racked her mind for an explanation.  "Like after a prairie fire.  I saw one years ago, when we were in Nebraska.  It seems like the end of the world.  The earth is all scorched and black and everything green is gone.  But after the burning the soil is richer and new things can grow."  She held Izzy at arm's length, wiped her cheek with a fingertip, smoothed her hair one last time.  "People are like that, too, you know.  They start over.  They find a way."  (Chapter 18)

Mrs. Richardson was reflecting on her life "All her life, she had learned that passion, like fire, was a dangerous thing.  It so easily went out of control.  It scaled walls and jumped over trenches.  Sparks leapt like fleas and spread as rapidly; a breeze could carry embers for miles.  Better to control that spark and pass it carefully from one generation to the next, like an Olympic torch.  Or perhaps, to tend it carefully, like an eternal flame:  a reminder of light and goodness that would never -- could never -- set anything ablaze. Carefully controlled.  Domesticated.  Happy in captivity.  The key, she thought, was to avoid conflagration." (Chapter 11)

We discussed the "little fires everywhere" and these two instances were noted in the book.  It was a great title for the book.  We talked briefly about the pregnancy of Elena (Mrs. Richardson's own daughter) that Mia knew about.  Elena thought it was Pearl, but it was really Lexie, Elena's own daughter who had gotten pregnant and then abortion.  She thought it was Moody, who had been the  father, but it was Tripp.  We never did hear the final resolution with this issue.  Did she find out who really had been pregnant?  There were unanswered questions at the end of the book, including did Elena find Izzy?  Did Pearl go back with her Mom to see her grandparents.  Would they find the Ryan's, as Joseph Ryan was her biological father (we thought that was interesting how he pursued her because she looked so much like his wife).  And had Elena changed, would she become a "mother" to Izzy when she found her, as we suspected she would.

Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi

Seven members were available for the January discussion of Homegoing.  The members really liked this book; the storyline and characters were so good.  One person who wasn't at the meeting had said she loved the book and in conclusion added, "A new classic?"

There was so much information in the story, the leader of this book said she recommended it, having listened to it years ago and thought it was just the book for us. She said, she seldom reads a book twice but this one warranted that second read.  "There is so much in here that we just don't know how to connect, no idea how to relate to this."  Many agreed.  Many thought the stories went back and forth and reading it a second time would be great.  It was wonderful to have the family lineage list to follow.  Some people took notes for the book.

Our book club leader asked us something that you hadn't thought of before, something that stood out to us in the book and a few people mentioned that they were surprised by the conflicts with the tribes:  the stealing, the slavery and selling each other.  One person said the English wouldn't have had as much success if there wasn't this conflict between tribes.   This had to do not with survival, but with plain greed, someone said.

The book took us through the lasting effects of slavery.  How at the beginning, we have Maame, who herself was a part of one African tribe who used her, used women, until she ran away and was happy  with Big Man Asare.  She mothered two daughters, one she left behind and their story started to intertwine at the Cape Coast Castle, so close, one above the other, one free, one enslaved.

We talked about the journey the families took, the marriages they had, the children they had, and their journey.  We talked about polygamy in most of the African tribes.  James was the first one that didn't want that life style.  He was the one to change.  The women were strong, being a mother, they had to be strong.  You had to have connections to keep going on.  Some of the men left their families.  The slavery affected families, both in Africa and in America.  Was it better to have stayed in Africa or have gone to America?

We talked about the lasting effects of slavery in America, even with H being "enslaved" at the mines, (convict leasing) not able to pay his way out of prison, and Anna, his mother, a free woman, taken from her family in New York.

We read (on page 175) about Ethe, she was not happy with H, she said that "All I had of her (her mother) was my name. That was all I had of myself too."  We felt that was a powerful statement for the women, too, in this book.

Someone also shared (on page 226) about Yaa talking about history.  "This is the problem of history.  We cannot know that which we were not there to see and hear and experience for ourselves.  We must rely on the words of others...But now we come upon the problem of conflicting stories....Whose story do we believe, then?"  This has been true through out history, and even, now during this time.

Why was the book titled:  Homegoing?  We talked about that, deciding it might have to do with going back home, finally at the end with Marcus meeting Marjorie and both heading back to Ghana.  They both had fears, fire and water, and both helped each other tackle their fear.  The beginning of the book started with the fire and water.  Loved the ending, "Here," Marjorie said." Have it." She lifted the stone from her neck, and placed it around Marcus's.  "Welcome Home."  The very stone that Maame gave to her daughter Effia.

We had a great discussion about this book and looked up the history of the Cape Coast Castle and the country.  We loved the storyline from the author and her own story.  Would be interesting to hear her speak about this book.

Tuesday, December 18 Holiday Gathering

We have changed our reading selection and have chosen to not have a book discussion this month.  We are not at Park Grove Library, this month, instead we are celebrating the Holiday Season together at a local restaurant!  We will return in January.  If you are interested in joining us in December, please connect with the info desk at the library.

The Park Grove Library Book Club meets at 6:30 pm, usually the fourth Tuesday of the month at Park Grove Library, Cottage Grove.  We welcome anyone to join us for the discussion and join our group.

Just a special note to book club members.  Would love to hear your thoughts & opinions on the book club, whether you were at the discussion or not!  Share what you thought about the book.  There is a spot under the post for comments, you can do a few different log-in programs or do it anonymously but feel free to write your name!

The Wangs vs The World by Jade Chang

The Wangs vs. The World carried quite a discussion with 16 members present.   Some felt it was interesting and humorous and others found it frustrating and didn’t want to read further.  One person stated it well:  “It was a tragedy and a comedy.”  Another said, “Having the comedy helped you get through it.” “It was different” was a common description.  It was a story about an immigrant, but it was unlike other stories we have read.  One person added that “it may be a better read for a younger audience.”  Another added that she didn’t like that it didn’t have a cohesive plot.  Another member said that “there were too many subplots.” 

We talked about the characters of the book.  One member said “The characters were flat and I wanted them to come to life a little more.”  Another member said that she “felt there were missed opportunities to develop the characters.  It didn’t feel 100% genuine.  Grace’s character felt inconsistent, very self-centered.”   One member said that she loved the kids, they were all hardworking and smart.  If you didn’t know their names, it could have been any family going through this.

“I liked Charles, he was always dreaming about China and was shocked as to how he was treated when he went back there.”  Another member was frustrated by Charles, saying he didn’t get enough character plot.  We were surprised by Charles strong business intuition and then when the loss came we questioned that, how did he not know how to truly handle the business financially?  We also questioned why he didn’t go back to China before, as he had traveled many times back to that area.  As a plot to the story, we questioned a few of these aspects.  America use to love Charles Wong, and it let him down.  Charles was under the impression that anything was possible in America.  We talked about how he was so insulated as a CEO from the marketing /delivery of his product.  He took product to a customer, and yet it melted in the back of a U-Haul.  He had no clue that it would melt.  We also chuckled that Charles climbed to his business which started with urine, Urea, used for fertilizer and then for make up!  We did talk about his ancestry, which had been very successful.  When his birthright was taken from him, he moved to America to reinvent himself and become successful.  Being the oldest birthright for his family, he would have inherited their land.    We talked about how much Charles loved his children.  We brought up the thought that, if he would have stayed in China, he would not have had 3 children. 

Saina, the oldest, found a way to survive.  She was smart to buy a home in the country after her melt down with the media.  We talked about the art that she had made, how creative it was to use immigrants, and did it possibly have a connection with her father’s story?  All she wanted to do with her art was resonate, someone had said.  The jackets she started with were a quick media idea.  She was very creative and smart. 

We felt the family was dysfunctional.  We talked about Barbra and her staying with Charles.  On the journey across the country, we learned that she was already to leave him, had it all planned and she couldn’t do it.  Deep down she loved him.  We noted that she found out he kept her badge from when they first met, she had left in the cafeteria where she worked.  He had it all these years.  He didn’t love his first wife, but we felt he did love Barbra. 

Andrew was not what his father would like for him to be.  He knew that a stand-up comedian wouldn’t be what would fit his father idea.  But he pursued it.  We talked about that creativity among the characters was a common denominator.   Some felt Andrew was very self-serving.

Some of us felt Grace was also self-centered, but then we had another aspect brought out when she cared for their Ama.  She was the one who was a caring individual. She also was very talented with her blogging.

We talked about the business aspects that were brought out in the book, and the 2008 recession.  It was interesting to read about the Beanie Bag scheme.  A few of us raised our hands when asked if we were buying Beanie Babies at that time!

At the end of the story, they had what was most important, they had each other.   They were truly connected with each other, when their privileged life style didn’t happen.  In the end money they weren’t interested in the money. 

The House of Broken Angels by Luis Alberto Urrea

We had 13 book club members who had read the book. Some weren’t sure what to think of the book, but as they got into it they wanted to find out what happened. Some wants to shake some sense into some of the characters. Multiple readers liked the ending despite having a hard time getting into the book.

Several readers liked the focus on a large, extended family. One liked the focus on the immigrant family experience in California. Another member liked the exploration of grief. She found it heartwarming and containing truths. Multiple members struggled to keep straight the long list of characters in this extended family, and many people had printed out a character list they’d found online (one even constructed a family tree to keep characters straight).

Several liked the humorous parts, particularly the story about the border crossing where the drunk parrot got the attention of the border patrol. One reader thought that audiobook wasn’t a good format for this book because it was particularly hard to track all of the characters, although the narration, done by the author, was very good. Another reader listened to the audiobook and just decided to let go of tracking the characters, trying instead to just figure out what generation of the family they were in relation to Big Angel.

We started our discussion with some background about the settings and the author. Group leader Mary gave some background about his life, in Mexico and then in the United States. We discussed the San Diego / Tijuana border area. We discussed the differences in border crossing from years ago and now, and were surprised in the depiction in the book that decisions about crossing may be up to the discretion of the specific border patrol rather than any fixed rules.

We discussed how the author struggled as his parents (Mexican father and American mother) played tug of war over culture for the household. The group discussed what it would be liked to be raised in a household with two different cultures.

In discussing the book itself, we noted how Big Angel was trying so hard to make strides and overcome his background, but his children didn’t all embrace them. It started from the first line, with the emphasis on Big Angel not wanting to be late to overcome the stereotype, and that his children didn’t embrace it.

Members of the group who were teachers talked about their experiences of teaching ESL students and whether the schools encouraged them to allow the kids to read in their first languages.

Discussed Big Angel lamenting the “American” food served at his birthday party and why isn’t it traditional Mexican food. We took this as a symbol of the loss of their culture, and the end of an era as Perla was the only one still cooking traditionally, and she wanted to retire from cooking the family meals.

The author used Spanish language words without explaining each word, and the group discussed whether this added or detracted from the story. It stopped some of our readers, who felt confused, but others felt that they understood enough from the context and felt that it would have lost authenticity to not have any Spanish language in the dialogue. 

The Women in the Castle by Jessica Shattuck

Many of our books, it seems, end up in historical fiction and WWII genre.  One of the first of 14 members who attended set the tone of the conversation that night, stating "It was extremely interesting and loved the author."  "It brought a different perspective, not so much of the soldier's perspective," another said.  I think most of us agree.

One member, who enjoyed the book, said that "it was built on three people's story, but I kept wanting more windows of their stories."  The three women were mothers, gave us hope.  Of the three women, Marianne was the leader of the book, the group of women.  One member said she felt that Marianne was "holier than thou" and Benita was"insipid".  But she said, she was glad that she read it. Another said  "I didn't like the ending, it was very abrupt and cold.  Marianne did have her own MeToo Movement, though.  I would like Marianne in my corner, she was the strength.  I would not have gravitated towards any of them, but  respected Marianne." 

We were given the German Resister perspective, the women's perspective in this book.  "The characters were not lovable, they were a product of what happened, they had no control over their situation, or the propaganda around them" a member commented.  Another chimed in, that "this time and place was very difficult to deal with. The women were also responsible for children."  One person also said, she believed they knew something was wrong, but out of fear people could not step up or they would be dead.  Someone said through this they have a better understanding of "why they joined Hitler's Youth Group."   Another said it showed how "it would feel like to be so powerless; it was eye-opening."  

A member said the book had chapters that were different narrators, different times flashing back in time.  Someone mentioned that they wished the characters were better developed, but the book would have been much longer.  

The book has a general  pattern of forgiveness to it.  Someone shared that "It was a book that made me think that you can put yourself in someone else's shoes."

The author wrote the book based on stories and listening to her grandparents.  We talked about that she chose not to talk all about the Holocaust, as it would have had added a lot more to the book, this had a different focus.  We did talk about that the German's were told the Jews were taking away their jobs, and some compared it to what is going on right now with immigration issues in the US.  Someone said the perspective was that the Jews had all the money, all the wealth and control.  

We talked about the three women, Marianne, Benita and Ania, all mothers but each different.  Marianne was well-educated, privileged.  Someone had said, did the others have the skills that Marianne had, the skills to rescue the others?  Benita was looking to be loved.  We talked about Ania and the farms that were a part of the Nazi government that Ania was a part of.  They were going to produce food, the be the start, improving the world after the problems after WWI.  She did love her first husband at first, before all the changes.  Their last farm, which she left, was horrible with the "boys" that were there, they were very violent.  It was hard when they came to take the babies away.  A few members in the group said the boys on the farm were being trained for violence -- like dobermans.  As Germany got desperate, the training was more cruel and mean.  Ania also had a lot of guilt.  

Were the women friends?  At the end Marianne and Ania were happy to see each other. When they were all in the castle, they had cared and enjoyed each other we felt.  They did depend on Marianne, but we felt that Marianne was above the other two, they were not equal.  Marianne could not see the shades of grey.  But, as Marianne aged, she found there was grey areas.  

We talked about Benita. At the end she reads Connie's letter, where it said "I want you to teach our son to be as happy as you are."  She had lost a lot in her life.  And then Marianne made Franz feel not worthy, because he was a Nazi.  We talked about how he must have felt knowing that Connie was a Resister.  Someone said he was the man who took the babies in the woods.  He could do right by his daughter but not right by Benita.  

Of all the three women, we said Ania was the most hardworking, most stoic and most believable character.  She made huge mistakes, but she carried on.  She was pragmatic.

We talked about the end of the story.  What compelled Marianne to write her story?   It was about the Resisters, so their story would be told, and about Peace and Justice.  It was interesting in the end, having Ania and her daughter, and then Marianne and Benita's son Martin. The two younger ones together!  And then even Franz Muller's daughter had a part there.

We had a full hour and half of discussion.  There were some who didn't like the book but it provided a lot of conversation.